Jim Gaffigan: Mr. Universe - 4 KIDS (by jimgaffigan)
"Four kids. If you want to know what it’s like to have a fourth, just imagine you’re drowning … and then someone hands you a baby."
"We had all our babies at home … just to make you feel uncomfortable."
"People always assume there was some laziness involved. ‘You didn’t want to go to the hospital?’ ‘It was far. I didn’t feel like putting on pants.’"
"People are like, ‘You didn’t want to go to that germ-infested building where sick people congregate? … Didn’t your wife want to give birth in a gown someone died in yesterday?’"
"There was also a midwife there, because we believe in witchcraft."
Ok, I’ll stop quoting. Enjoy!