But stay strong, bros.
One day we’ll all be equal.
Parenting my daughter for the last 12 years has tested my understanding of myself, revealing the hypocrisy and imperfections inherent in my feminism. It’s an uncomfortable place to be.
Loving this response to the Maria Kang meme:
After many people gave their “excuses” in that thread, an interesting thing happened. People started asking Kang what her excuse was."I have 3 degrees…what’s her excuse?""Can she play tuba? No? What’s her excuse?"
"I had my kids closer together than she did. What’s her excuse?"
This is hilarious, but it also sheds light on something that isn’t normally visible. No one would ever expect to see a tuba player’s picture with the words “what’s your excuse” atop it. And if they did see a picture like that, they’d most likely laugh their asses off. Because that’s ridiculous. Not everyone wants to play tuba, so they don’t need an excuse as to why they can’t play it. Not everyone wants three degrees. And the people that do want three sometimes have the legit excuse as discussed above of not having the funds or the time to achieve them. And no one is posting pictures of themselves with their prizes and achievements in those areas asking others to justify themselves. Because that’s silly.But somehow it’s not silly when someone does this in the working-out realm. Because ‘fitspiration’ is not just a subgenre, but is part of our general culture, and as such is open to these criticisms. Because the people hitting back don’t find it silly or absurd. Shaming in this arena is such a part of our mainstream culture that people do get insulted when a random meme picture like this shows up on their social media. They get it enough everywhere else. They don’t want it from a complete stranger, too.
The tuba player goes on to say, “Maybe it’s not important or interesting to her… Gasp, you mean different people have different priorities?!”And that’s the crux of the matter. Looking like she looks a year after having her third child is not a priority for most people. And yet somehow, when seeing a picture like that, with a shaming message atop it, people do feel shamed for it not being a priority for them. And then they get mad. Because it’s a dominant theme in our culture. One that needs to go away.She has every right to be proud of herself, and every right to motivate those who are looking to be motivated in her arena, in her area of expertise. But she does not have the right to attack those who would fight back against her message. Because while she intended to say this: “I know you think you don’t have time if you have kids. But if I can do it, you can do it, too,” she actually said this: “what’s your excuse?” And those are two different things.
Also this article from Baby Dust Diaries: "Maria Kang, Here Is My Excuse."
It is inside this context that my son is learning to negotiate his own gender and sexuality. And it is my job, as his parent, to instill within him the consciousness that ensures he would never consider non-consensual behaviour as an option. It is my job as his mother to teach him that no real masculinity includes space for rape culture behaviours.
So glad to have stumbled upon these pens “for her” — and the resultant reviews. My favorite (a 1-star):
I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day’s tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks.
On sharing pictures of “gendered” careers that show both men and women (and multiple ethnicities and ages). I love this project.
From my comment: I remember when we were at the midwife’s for one of my prenatal checkups that Mikko was really interested in the stethoscope and other instruments. While he was playing with them, we all said something to the effect of, “Maybe he’ll be a doctor one day.” And then I almost choked on it. Why not “a midwife” someday? Or a nurse, like his great-uncle?
A response to the slut-shaming/victim-blaming remarks that spewed across my Facebook page (ugh), as well as an honest and hopeful recounting of how attachment parenting can help heal.
I loved (and miss) the Olympics. I love seeing these athletes push themselves to the limit of what the human body can achieve. I love seeing all the different body shapes and learning which type of body works best for which sport.
I tend to stay away from negativity and cattiness with regards to the athletes, but I did happen upon some trollishness about certain female athletes not looking “feminine” enough. That makes me mad, because what does that even mean? Feminine looks like a lot of things, yo.
So I was happy when I heard athlete Alysia Montaño’s reason for wearing a flower in her hair when she runs. It was a sign to the kids who used to mock her that, yes, she was a girl, and yes, she could still run fast.